When I take the time to really STOP and love on my babies....well, it makes my day. Really. You'd think that I simply don't have the time to STOP. And if you were to look at my schedule on paper - well, I don't. There's too much to do. Surely they *know* I love them, right? Surely they understand as I give them a bath, as I fix them lunch, as I wash the sheets, as I vacuum the floor, as I pack up the boxes to move.....
But what they want is hugs. What they want is me dancing in the living room with them. Tali wants me to help her put on her ballerina shoes. Selah wants me to give her "raspberry kisses". Isaac wants me to watch him write his name. Elijah just wants me to look at him and smile.
Not to mention my poor dh ~ he really wants my time too. He wants more of me than frustration, whining, anger or crying. He deserves more. But goodness.... All of these demands on me ~ how is a gal supposed to balance all this??
Well, I just think you can't. (I know, not very encouraging, huh?)
Right now, in this season, I can't get it all done. My babies are all fairly young (5 and under) so while yes, I am *training* them to help me - it's still mostly ME doing it all. I've been listening to women tell me to let the housework go for YEARS - telling me to simply give it up (for now) and love on my babies. Well, finally, I'm ready to admit they're right (for now).
So today I danced with my daughters on my yucky floor that desperately needs vacuuming. Today, I laughed with my baby on the couch that desperately needs wiped down (from all his droolin', no less). Today, I watched my son work on his letter sound recognition - all the while ignoring the urge to tell him to pick up his room.
No, I haven't given up completely on the house. I'm about to get up and pack a few boxes, then vacuum the floors. I'll start the laundry (with the help of my babies), and TRY to keep up with it today (I'm making no promises). But I'm also making it a priority to read some stories before quiet time. I'm MAKING the time to laugh with my son during his bathtime, instead of rushing him through it.
What a balancing act mothering is! One I feel I fail at regularly ~ but perhaps, with lots of prayer, I can remember what is most important. Perhaps I can manage to find time for what is necessary and what is needed.
I still feel overwhelmed ~ but now I'm beginning to accept it and I'm not trying to fight it as much. Maybe that's it. I've put so much energy into fighting it, into trying to make things "better". Perhaps if I can continue to just let go, here and there, the Lord will be able to really balance out my life much better than I EVER could.
~lots of rambling here today, folks, so thanks for hangin' in there~
p.s. my babies ROCK!!
p.p.s. Well, I got distracted...came back to the computer HOURS later and I'm happy to announce that I played, did laundry, sang a few songs (w/ some raspberries thrown in), SERIOUSLY vacuumed the floors (and rearranged the furniture), moved the laundry around, took apart some more stuff for packing, and let Isaac take a relaxing, fun bath for over an hour!! Is everything getting done?? No way ~ but I'm okay with that (for now). ~MM~
...and lest anyone think things are perfect here.....we had our fair share of discipline as well.....in love.....tucked in here and there as needed....but overall, it has been a day of work, and play, and love.....praise our risen LORD!!