Wednesday, October 8, 2008

at my whits end.

You know those blogs you go to where she seems to have it all together, her children are sweet, obedient and helpful, her home is organized and runs smoothly, her hair is naturally beautiful and peace reigns in their home.

This is *not* that blog.

I do NOT have it all together. My children have stretched me today beyond all that is natural and normal - this *has* to be some sort of cruel & unusual punishment, I just know it! My home, while fairly organized, is NOT running smoothly, at least not today (again, when you are dealing with four small children freaking out and misbehaving all at once, NOTHING runs smoothly). My hair is *anything* but naturally beautiful (it's more like naturally oily and lacking in body) and peace most certainly does not reign in this home.

Now, all that being said, I am trying - attempting - pleading with the Lord - to allow peace to reign in my HEART. Here, I must embrace the chaos. I must deal with four small, freaking-out children without giving in to freaking out myself. I must step through the crumbs from breakfast, swipe the oily hair out of my eyes, while searching for the missing binkie to give to the fussy baby.

Yet in my heart, I honestly can be peaceful. I can know He loves me regardless of my ability to obtain perfection in my home, my children, my life. He's not stretching me, molding me to be more like His Son so that He can *someday* love me. Nope. He loves me NOW. Completely. Fully.


So perhaps I can step through those breakfast crumbs one more time, go to my girls (who are both in seperate rooms in an afternoon-long time-out), and TELL them I love them. Remind them that even though they have been disciplined, even though they have made mistakes and messed up big time today - my love is not dependent on that. My love is there, real, every day. Yes, they are still "in trouble". Yes, there will still be consequences. But my love doesn't waiver.

And neither does HIS~


5 comments:

Tereza said...

I havw days like that. You're not the only one. And I agree...the main thing is how we take thosr days!
and maybe just don't read blogs that dont for real build you up.....at least for a while!

Tereza said...

I wnted to email you but cant find your addy on here. Could you email me at feketenyul@yahoo.ca??

blueraindrop said...

i'm always glad to hear i'm not the only one! lol

and i always wonder a bit... on those way too perfect family blogs... whether they intentionally leave things out or are simply that detached from the real world. :-)

Julie said...

Hmm.. you could have at least linked to my blog since you referenced it..you know the perfect wife, home, and mom! LOL! Ahh..

Just kidding. Im so glad you posted this. I really needed to hear it today!

*Michigan Momma* said...

Ha - Julie - when I first started to read your commment, I was like "oh no, what did I say wrong?". You got me!!

For the record, today was *much* better. I had a raging headache today and I'm just so thankful my day YESTERDAY didn't happen TODAY with my headache on top of everything! Praise the Lord!!
~Lori