Wednesday, May 13, 2009

stealing my joy

I've been letting others steal my joy.

There it is, plain & simple.  Hmmm....I wonder *why* it took me this long to see it?

At least I can see it now ~ and I can do something about it.  I can stop allowing it to happen, for one!  And I can do my best to counteract if, for another.

You see, I am CONSTANTLY being told/asked/commented upon or even downright criticized and barrated for our family size.  It is few and far between that a sweet lil' old lady will tell me how beautiful my children are, or how wonderful it is to see a larger family.  Nope, most of the time, I get stares, glares, open-mouthed astonishment and ridicule.

And no, I'm not exagerating.

Yet, with all that, I have a choice.  I can CHOOSE what to focus on.  Do I really *believe* what the world is telling me about my family, about my beautiful children?  If not, then I need to let it go, let it roll off my back.  Without being rude, IN LOVE, *truthfully*, I can respond to these comments - let them know what a blessing my babies are and how happy I am!  

It's going to go one way or another:  either their comments are going to steal my joy or my response will open their eyes (even if just a smidge).  Which way do I want it to go??  It really is my decision - not theirs.  Thank goodness.  Thank GOD!

So there ya go - just thinking out loud here.....

And lastly, here's a pic from our homeschool co-op today:  we are doing a "Tree of Life" and this was part of the Animal: Mammal section - they are kangaroos with their little pouches, so cute!




p.s.  and to anyone who has commented recently about reviewing curriculum or a website or whatever.....it's just been crazy around here with the moving process.  Once we are settled in just a bit into our new home, I may get a chance to check out your sites, your information.  Sorry for the wait....I'll do my best!  Thanks for thinking of me~Lori

11 comments:

Morgan said...

I'm suprised you get so many comments that are negative about having 5. It's not like you have 17 kids- is 5 really THAT many? I can see how it would seem like that to other people as it isn't often that you meet people in real life with 5 or more kids. I only know a handful of people with families that large.

The comment I receive the most is about how we have 2 of each- how perfect that is. Basically that it's so perfect, so why mess that up? *sigh* After having 4 kids, having 1 more doesn't seem like it would be much different than what life is like now.

p.s. Will your moving date overlap with your current house so that you can paint and move things in gradually, or does your current rent or usage of where you are end before you take possession of your new home?

We still have boxes all over. I long for a schedule, but it's going to take time to get everything put away and back to normal (whatever normal is now).

Kenni B said...

ummmm....did Isaac WANT to be a girl kangaroo? Wasn't there an option given to be a GUY kangaroo?! LOL

The best option for dealing with stares and such.....don't look. Then you won't see them! :)

See you all this weekend!!!! Razor is excited! I think. I don't really speak dog.

Tereza said...

5 is really not that many....I'm surprised you get so many bad comments! Must be the area you live in...but pay no mind to those people!!!.......

*Michigan Momma* said...

I know, about the *only* having five - 'cause it's really *NOT* that many kids. People have told me it's because they're so close together (5, 7 and under) - and that's what really draws so much attention.

Like my bil said, I can simply choose not to look. Even if I see it, I can choose not to pay them any mind.

Kenni ~ actually, we didn't give it much thought, but Isaac sure did. As soon as my friend Brooke tried to pin his "pouch" on, he protested a bit, eventually put it on, then asked we take it off IMMEDIATELY. At first I didn't understand - but then, duh, he didn't want to be a "girl" kangaroo - duh!

And Morgan, we are in the church parsonage, so we don't have a specific time that we *have* to be out - which is grand! We want a few things done to the new place BEFORE we move in - so we have a bit of time for that to happen. No real rush (other than me not wanting to live in total chaos!)

Thanks for the encouragement y'all ~ I'm better now! My babies are sweet!!!
~Lori

Anonymous said...

We ALWAYS get comments when we go out. I do think it's cause they're all so close in age, you know 5 kids ages 2 to 7. It's hard to just let it go sometimes. I do try to remind myself to be a blessing to others, even in the stores. We make it a game to see how many people will ask "Are they all yours?" or some variation. I count it when they say, "Are you crazy!" The kids think it's fun to keep count. I'm pretty sure it's going to keep coming, especially when I start showing! Baby # 6 is on his/her way! I cling to the positive comments, mostly from older folks saying they stopped at 2 and wished they had had more - no regrets for us!

Keep pressing on!
Anna

*Michigan Momma* said...

Hi Anna~ CONGRATULATIONS on baby #6, what a blessing!!

I do specifically remember a few ladies that have come up to me (one was just recently at a doctor's appointment - a nurse) and told me that if they could simply change one thing, it would be to have more babies....you can't go back....

Like you said, no regrets!!

I'm not sure how much my babies really realize the comments and looks we get?? They will eventually see that some people think a large family is "odd" - so I want MY reaction to be a positive and loving one - making sure to always tell them how absolutely blessed I feel to be momma to them all!!

Thanks~
Lori

jesnicole said...

I find that surprising, too!!! Each of my parents grew up with TWELVE children in their families......now that's big!!! (Imagine how many cousins I have!! I know it's over 100!!) You're right, don't let them steal your joy!! (On the opposite end, don't think it's just people without a lot of kids who are rude....I constantly get condescending comments from ladies who call themselves Christians because we only have one little one so far.....some people just aren't happy unless they're putting others down!! For many ladies I know, they've made having babies a competition....and it's just plumb sick!!!)

Enjoy your family, and just keep loving and praying for those who don't know how to love others yet!!

Janet said...

You have a beautiful family, don't let anyone steal your joy. God gave you these little ones!! They are His joys too. Remember, there are ladies (men too) that would give ANYTHING to have just 1 child!!! I know. Love you, Jan

Tina said...

You go Lori. I wanted more. I had five and got to keep 2 and count them as blessings each day. God determines the size of our family, as much as we may think we're doing something one way or another, it's not true. Scriptures to back this up abound. I admire your attitude, stamina, and courage. And gosh darn it, you're kids are ADORABLE. Hugs.

Anonymous said...

People are just plain ignorant!

Just remember they will have to answer to God. And how we respond to their *mess* we also will answer.

Hugs... just ignore them... easier said than done, I know. I guess that's why I do have a blog! One no time, two, no time lol and three, I'd get ugly w/anyone who would have the nerve to say ANYTHING negative. Mind you, that
is quite different than disagreeing.

~Danielle

Vicki said...

Ya I get that too... A LOT! You'd be surprised, well you wouldnt.. Mainly from well meaning church people.. Like when we anounced #5 the Mothers Day before last I got.. "Is this *another* Uh-Oh or a Happy thing?" And the Husband said "Uh... A Happy thing, as always?" It was sorta funny! Church people amaze me how they think that they can tell you, the people they hired to hear from God and teach them about Him, how to live.. Go figure!

Vicki