Thursday, June 12, 2008

So what does this mean?

*sigh*

I'm not willing to align myself with any of the "groups" out there in internet-ville. I used to. I was all gung-ho. I was searching, I guess...

And it's not as though I believe these people (not just one group, many different sub-groups/ small groups/just one person here and there) deceived me nor led me astray. Not at all. They helped me find my way. I believe God has used each one to guide me.

I needed to go through the only-dresses thing. I'm mostly dresses now, but it's not all legalistic-crazy-like.

I needed to go through the quiver-full thing. I still may call myself quiver-full from time to time ~ mainly just to get my main beliefs about family and children out there quickly, although I doubt most of the quiver-full folk would accept me.

I'm super glad I found the anti-feminist groups, the homeschool groups, the women who taught me about godly submission to my husband, those who helped me understand how to *love* my children - yes, even while disciplining them. I feel VERY strongly about some of these issues, but it just seems wrong to sit around venting about it somehow.

Instead, I feel God calling me in a different direction ~ as though He is saying "okay Lori, I let you go through all that, I introduced you to so-and-so, you have thought through and talked through things enough. Time for living!".

Okay, God, I hear ya.

So don't get me wrong ~ I am *so* thankful for the more vocal groups out there, even the more "extreme" groups. I feel as though I picked through them with scripture, and found what God intended me to find.

I don't claim to understand it all or have all the answers now ~ hardly....but I feel like I have a good grasp on the basics. I have enough to get on with it already....

And if this doesn't make a bit of sense to you, that's okay. Smile and nod. Sure thing, Lori.....uh-huh. I guess perhaps it's just a blog about giving myself permission to not be aligned with any particular group, yet still feel confident enough to live boldly, with God firmly planted in the center.

Am I making any sense?

9 comments:

Annemarie said...

Amen.

It makes total sense to me.

Congrats to Isaac on reading! Way to go!

~Annemarie

Theresa said...

Absolutely! I don't spend time anymore on the boards and groups ... I just end up feeling inferior!!

Holly said...

Yes, Lori, it makes sense to me too.

I've been there. And back out.

And I agree with a lot of what a lot of them say. But I think that I allow a lot more for conviction by the Holy Spirit than many of the groups. By that I mean...I believe the Lord has convicted me, has a path for me...but I really shouldn't be judging others over these issues.

My problem seems to be that I get all inspired by what someone else writes, and I shout "ME TOO!" because I find similarities or I agree with part of what they say so it feels comfortable or good.

But then, later, I see points on which I DO disagree...usually finer points. Like the whole quiverfull thing:

I think Americans are too pro-contraception. Too anti-life. God has led my husband and I to accept children - so I thought I was quiverfull, even though I didn't shout about it. I just love my family and what God is doing in our midst, and I want to share that with others and I want their lives to be happy and I want them to turn their families over to God...

BUT! Then I see that quiverfull REALLY means that a woman can never, never, never (even upon threat of death) use even NFP...and I see that I am not really that far into it. For me, it was a happy and joyous and growing thing - not a legalistic, bound by cement rules thing.

So, I've falsely defined myself and have to backtrack. Ouch. I could have really saved myself a lot of time. I have to learn to think and to not be drawn in by passions (that are not specifically given by the Holy Spirit.)

It is my goal to communicate what I believe (now) without condemning - to be strong but loving. Not always easy, and I'll not always be to be successful...but I'm trying! :)

But yeah...I'm tired of even trying to "define" and just want to enjoy, LIVE, and find His purpose for my family. I don't need to spend my time defining other's families. If God wants to use us by our example..that's great. I'll leave that to him. :)

Anneatheart said...

I was so there, still am Lori. I went through the dresses only thing and did an actual study and put it on my blog. I had to know for myself. I'm not dresses only now. I was quiverfull for awhile, but my dh wasn't, and weren't equally yoked. things have changed- I too have the c-section history among other high risk stuff. I am not in a particular group either. I am not planning to homeschool. I might, but that isn't my plan right now.Like I feel being introduced to all those good things has helped bring me where I am today and I am thankful, but I certainly do not fit in any group or mold. Right now I have 4 little girls under 5 and am listening to heavy metal Christian rock music. I am wearing longer shorts, a nice knit shirt (hot pink) I have my long long hair up in a clip and my living room is covered in toys, blankets and pillows. However my home is clean and well cared for, underneath the toys :) Ok, this is getting too long. I identify majorly. Now I'm more concerned about God's agenda and I know He looks at the heart- not whether one is in a modest dress or headcovering.

*MichiganMomma* said...

Exactly Holly, I want to LIVE with what He has shown me thus far. I'm still also willing to grow and learn and be guided by those far wiser than myself...

And I also don't want to be wishy-washy. It's a fine line. It always has been. Grace under God's mercy and ultimate Truth. Realizing there is Truth, seeking it out, yet not shoving it down other people's throats.

So no, I don't want to be wasting my time trying to define other's families ~ yet I want to be open to others who are searching.

I know this is obvious, but I need to spend more time in prayer and listening to His prodding in my life.

Did I mention I miss you up here in MI?? Just saying...
~Lori

*MichiganMomma* said...

It's such a fine line, isn't it? I mean, our outward behavior really does reflect what is in the heart ~ so I don't want to toss that out the window. God talks about "if you love me, you will OBEY me", so I know what we DO is important (while recognizing that we can do NOTHING without God).

I'm not quite willing to jump in the wishy-washy camp of "Whatever is fine for YOUR family is good and whatever is good for MY family is good" kind of thinking. I *do* believe in ultimate Truth ~ yet I am willing to step back and realize it is going to look different in different families. Thank God for His creativity and originality!!

*big sigh* It's such a journey and I feel as though I'm just getting started some days. What bends and turns in the path He has laid out for us! Amazing!!
~L

Danielle said...

I can relate:)
We have come to a cross roads of sorts where we are trying to sift through all of the stuff and let God define us...without a box of sorts. It's been interesting to figure out where we fit, and our conclusion is that we just don't "fit" anywhere. Now it's just a matter of where God wants us.

We won't be at the festival Friday, as Brent has to work:( I won't bore you with the usual "life has been busy" routine. We still really want to get together with you and your family. Are you busy a week from tomorrow?

Danielle

Julie said...

I understand, Lori. I really, really do. I am always trying to catch myself and make sure what I am doing lines up with what my DH wants. Thats what it is all about to me! :)

mama said...

Lori......you having said that makes me wanna read here again. for a while I kinda quit. There are enough "this is how ou do it if you are a good christian/mother/homemaker" type blogs out there and I'm sick of comparing and making these outward tasks an idol!!