No, I don't believe I have to run out and have ALONE time every day, having massages and sipping lattes with my girlfriends (although that doesn't sound *bad*) - I'm just saying, keep my identity. Doing things I like to do. Maintaining ME. Yes, my family, my children are this wonderful part of me, but there is *more* than babies and dishes and laundry (again, not that I dislike those things, I don't - I *LOVE* them).
I told my dh awhile back that I needed to figure this whole thing out, and soon, or he was going to forget that I was one heck of a sexy woman! Yes, I said it partly in jest, but part of it is true too. He married me before the babies, the house, the homeschooling, etc.etc.etc.... It was ME ~ and I don't want to give her up.
There's a balance that I'm searching for. Being a good wife, mother, Christian woman - giving of myself each and every day, living for others and being a blessing. Yet also filling myself up with Christ, exercising the talents the Lord has given me, reading and exercising the mind He gave me. I love to crochet, yet I keep pushing it back - who has time for that with 4, soon to be 5, small children? Well, I do! Or I will.
Sooooo.....here I am, thinking about all this stuff, wondering where the balance is. I doubt I'm the only Momma searching for that balance. So I'm going to give it a go. I'm going to remember who *I* am, what *I* enjoy, and try to fit it in amongst the diapers, meals, laundry, dishes, schooling.....and sometimes, yes sometimes, it's going to come BEFORE dusting, before all the clutter is picked up, before everyone has perfect hair and clipped nails. I can't be the perfect wife & momma, but I'm going to be ME in all this!
Then...after all this messy thinking, I run across a friend's blog: Bethgem. She has this list, these 12 Rules to Live By. I really like it! If I can start the list from a Christian perspective, knowing my relationship with the Lord, reading my Bible and striving to know Him better each day is FIRST - then I can look at this list and see the wisdom in it. I truly believe the Lord desires JOY for our lives, not drudergy. This list seems like a good place to start.
12 Rules to Live By
- Robert Louis Stevenson
Make up your mind to be happy. Learn to find pleasure in simple things.
Make the best of circumstances. No one has everything and everyone has something of sorrow.
Don’t take yourself too seriously.
Don’t let criticism worry you. You can’t please everybody.
Don’t let your neighbors set your standards; be yourself.
Do things you enjoy doing but stay out of debt.
Don’t borrow trouble. Imaginary things are harder to bear than actual ones.
Since hate poisons the soul, do not cherish enmities and grudges. Avoid people who make you unhappy.
Have many interests. If you can’t travel, read about places.
Don’t hold post-mortems or spend time brooding over sorrows and mistakes.
Do what you can for those less fortunate than yourself.
Keep busy at something. A very busy person never has time to be unhappy.
What do you think about this? About the 12 Rules, about my situation, about my ramblings. Are you searching for the balance, have you found a good balance, or do you think I'm a selfish woman? I'm willing to listen, honest. If you've been here, are here or are afraid of ending up here - let's talk~