Tuesday, April 3, 2007

A Wife ~ faith *IN* the trials

A Wife ~ continued....

"We are to honor the Lord in the trial - in the very thing that afflicts us."

"We do this by exercising perfect faith in His goodness and love that has permitted this trial to come upon us."

"A person has only as much faith as he shows in times of trouble."

"Believe me, there is a power that can make us victors in the conflict."

**quotes from Streams in the Desert by L.B. Cowman (the updated version), April 3rd, pg 140-141.

Okay, so yesterday I came to the conclusion that I really needed to work on being a better helpmeet to my dh. The Lord had been showing me how much I was lacking in this area, and how it was affecting our marriage. I wanted to honor my dh and honor the Lord.

All good things, good ideas, well-laid plans, all that....

Until you get a migraine.

Now, we're not talking about a slight headache here. Or even my normal painful migraines. We're talking about debilitating pain here. It was kind of building all day, but I thought I could deal with it. My usual drug of choice for this pain is Excedrin. I don't think I'm supposed to take Excedrin while nursing (I can't remember). I tried lots of water. I tried to take it easy. No luck.

So basically, during my pain, I tried to still help my dh. He needed to go through some of our financial stuff. He also really wanted to watch THE GAME later that night.

I don't think I did that great of a job. Dh was able to get his work done, but with a crying wife. With a wife that came across as "woe is me, helping my dh" rather than "joyful wife helping her dh". Argh. Man, this is hard!

And I think my expectations have a lot to do with it. Here's an example: last night dh needed some time (there's that word again). I just needed to keep the kids occupied and away from their father during that time. All I had to do was the basics. Feed them, change them, you know. Instead, I whined and cried (to myself the best I could) while Iemptied the dishwasher, rotated the laundry, vacuumed the floors, wiped down the dining room table, etc.etc.etc..... It was as if I *had* to EVERYTHING in order to best please my dh. And that's just not true.

What he needed at that moment, how I could have been a "helper SUITABLE" to him *at that moment* was to merely give him the time he needed to get his work done. Not maintain the home, while crying and basically making dh feel guilty for having to do his work while his 'poor little wife slaved away with a headache'. ARGH!! Man, this *is* really hard.

And do you see it?? Do you see how AS SOON as I had resolved to do what was right, to follow the Lord's commands in regards to my dh, I was physically attacked with a TERRIBLE migraine, the likes of which I haven't felt, perhaps ever! I definitely felt I was being attacked. I know the Lord allowed it to happen - and I do feel I did *better* than I would have done before my resolve, but still....I don't feel as though I "triumphed" through my trial.

"A person has only as much faith as he shows in times of trouble."

Looks as though my faith is lacking. When trouble arises, I pretty much fall apart. I'm sick and tired of that. It is not what I want my children to see. We all have trials and trouble - I don't want my children seeing their mother fall apart like that. Nor do I want them learning to react that way themselves when they encounter their own trials.

Then I was led to Colossians 2 this morning in my devotions:

"As you therefore have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him, having been firmly rooted and now being built up in Him and establised in your faith, just as you were instructed, and overflowing with gratitude."

Isn't that just the BEST verse?? I am firmly rooted. I am being built up and established IN MY FAITH!! And I can do this overflowing with gratitude! That's a biggie. Sometimes I feel like I can do it all on my own. I can respect and honor my dh. But I can never do it "overflowing with gratitude" - that's just too much for me to do all on my own. But IN CHRIST. In Him I can be OVERFLOWING with gratitude. Awesome!!

Okay, enough. Time to bathe my babies. I've got two of them going to the doctor today. Please pray as I am worrying about one in particular. I know I shouldn't worry but well....could you pray for me regarding that too??!

*Michigan Momma*


Tess said...


A migrain is a powerful pain, they can bring the toughest to their knees. When I get one, Thank God it's not been that often, I usually go to bed and cover up my head praying for it to stop. The last one I had lasted four days, but it wasn't as bad as some others. Still I had to go get a script of imitrex to knock it down.

You on the other hand cannot just go to bed, or even take meds because of Elijah nursing. I'm quite sure that not even God expected you to be cheerful in your work that day.

I'm proud that you were able to keep plugging along. ATTITUDE? Yeah that can be a hard one on a good day. You are right that we need to watch our attitude, but you are definitely too hard on yourself.

At least you are aware, that is half the battle.

Hang in there, I'll be there to help soon. Kiss my babies.


Shari said...

"A person has only as much faith as he shows in times of trouble."
Boy, isn't that the truth. It's easy to be cheerful and willing when all is well in our world. Nothing can beat you down like pain, though. You're doing a great job with all of your kiddos and I'm sure that you are a great wife too. We DO need to evaluate our weaknesses and work on them. Remember that where we are weak, the Lord is strong. Perfection is not the goal. That can lead to feelings of pride or defeat. The goal is complete surrender to the Lord in all areas of our lives so that he can change us from the inside out.

Love and miss you! You need to post some pictures of Elijah. He's probably growing like a weed!

Anonymous said...

Err.... i am not a very good wife when I am faced with a migraine. I need to work on that myself....