Thursday, August 14, 2008

just not quite myself

This week I just haven't been quite myself.

Getting back from a week a would have to know this camp. This camp is wonderful. It started WAY BACK in the day - more and more people attend this camp each year. You are literally all stacked up together, lot against lot, camper against tent against RV against cabin. A lot of people. Great people. But people.

I must be more of a home-body than I thought.

I just didn't want to leave my home this week. I didn't want to deal with other people. I just wanted to hole up for a while.

Then, this past Tuesday night, I had a bit of blood in the toilet when I went to the bathroom late at night.

Let me tell you, the fear of a possible miscarriage makes me want to hole myself up even more!

Now, to ease some fears, it was a very small amount. It was only that one time. I have not had any more blood or spotting since that time. No cramps, no pain. But hey, ANY blood when you are still in the 1st trimester is a scary thing.

I did a little searching around online (like *that* helps) ~ and it seems ANY blood in the first trimester is considered a "threatened abortion" aka: possible miscarriage. great. Like *that* helps to ease any concerns and fears I may have.

I did call my OB (I haven't even had an appointment yet - hey, I'm only 9 weeks along) and talked with a nurse. She reprimanded me for not coming in yet, then told me not to be too concerned. I made an appointment for Monday and I'm really hoping they'll help me out, ease some of my fears, by trying to find a heartbeat. It's still fairly early though, for the doppler, so I'm hoping they'll wheel the ultrasound machine in "just to make sure". If I'm about to have a miscarriage, well, I do know the Lord is in control. But I sure would like to kind of prepare myself. I would like to know what's going on if/when I begin bleeding again.

And lastly, about the homebody I stepped outside to get the mail today (literally the first time outside in a while), I breathed in deeply. Ahhhh.... God's creation *is* good. A nice breeze, some wispy clouds, not too was good. Just getting the mail, and it was good.

But we are out of juice, cheese, non-stick spray, milk, cereal, etc.etc.etc.....we are running seriously low on butter, oats....well, you get the idea. I need to get it together and go shopping, at least. And we have Bible study tomorrow night.

That is *seriously* JUST what I need~


Anonymous said...

I had more spotting with that around the same stage of pregnancy with one of my children and did not miscarry. I was on vacation in another state and it was bad enough that I went to an OB there and was told I was probably miscarrying (this was before ultrasounds were common), but it went away and everything was fine. Hope that makes you feel a little better.

Kenni B said...

Praying dear Sister.

And after a week of being outdoors every day surrounded by people and activities, no one will fault you for wanting to do the polar opposite for an equal ammount of time!!!

Love you! See you next Saturday to celebrate the completion of year 7 of my nephew!!!

I'm pretty sure Crystal will be coming with Mom and I. :)

Anonymous said...

I had spotting with both of my pregnancies, one at week 5 and the second one at week 10. Both were fine. I will be praying for you. Keep us posted!

Mary in TN

Anonymous said...

I'm sure it is all going to be fine. Do you need any help on Monday with kids and dr. appt?