The blog is actually an answer to some questions from the previous blog's comments. As most of you know, I will be having my 5th c-section coming up here in March, so this is in relation to all of that. My on-line friend is preggo with her 4th baby (w/ 3 previous c-sections). Just to let you know what's going on....(hope this helps!)
Thank your for the advice on breaking the news to others- you are experienced in it I'm sure.
I am trying to decide what to do about birth. I have at times greatly desired a vbac, in fact the third one was supposed to be but the doctor put me in a rock and a hard place. I am wondering why you've always chosen c-sections (I know you had to have the first one) and how do you prepare yourself for it.
I get nervous and sweaty just thinking about the process. The last one was the best, but still, all the needles and surgical stuff and that crazy feeling when the drugs wear off etc...I can imagine it could be just as scary with a vaginal birth as well, but still...
And not to pry, but how do you guys pay for it? If I go back to the same OB it will cost about $3000 total, which breaks down to $150 something each month, plus extra for the glucose tests and the Rhogam shots I take at 28 weeks, which are at least $130 plus a pop. Not to mention driving out there, ultrasounds etc. We are going to be moving next month for sure, either to MI or back to the other house down the road, so that will free up extra money. Still...just wondering...
It's just such a touchy thing with me and I'm praying for God's perfect plan.
Thanks busy woman!
I'll have to check on the exact $$ stuff, but we don't have to pay anything during the prenatal time (at each appointment). For the hospital, OB, surgery, etc. while I am at the hospital, we have to pay our portion of the total bill (once our insurance pays their part). I'm guessing it's a lot, but we just have to pay whatever our yearly out-of-pocket is. Not sure exactly, maybe $1000.00 or so (could be wrong).
Whatever is it, I know that we never feel like, "oh, we have *so* much medical bills from that kid" kind of thing. I'm betting it's just differences in our insurance plans - and there's really not a lot you can do about that (unless your dh is getting a different job in MI, then maybe his insurance would be better in this area).
Here's the basic breakdown of the c-section situations:
#1: very conservative OB, didn't want to try a version (turn the baby since he was breech). He did end up turning at the last minute, but he turned to a transverse position anyway - which always leads to a c/s.
#2: we were in a fairly small town w/ a small hospital. They didn't even *allow* VBACs there. I might have tried to go somewhere else, but we were pretty poor at the time and I was on state insurance - so I went whereever they gave me coverage. Not the smartest decision, but I guess I just didn't think ahead. As a side note, she ended up being breech as well (butt-first).
#3. This baby was actually head's down - probably my best bet for a VBAC, but I never did find anyone willing to give me a TOL (trial of labor). I had never actually been in labor - ever - and had never delivered a baby vaginally. No one was willing to let me try and I was kinda scared by all the "statistics" (thanks to the nurses - they are like walking "doom-sayers"...ugh...not all nurses, I know, but all the nurses I came across).
#4. We moved cross country when I was about 8 months preggo. I actually found a GREAT OB here, who is very well respected by other OBs and patients alike. She told me I *might* be able to find someone in the COUNTRY who might let me try a VBAC after 3 other c-sections, but I would have to pay for it myself (my insurance wouldn't cover that), plus go to all the trouble of actually *finding* a willing OB. Not likely. At this point, my c-sections had always been fairly positive, with my recoveries getting easier and easier. I knew my risks were also going up for a VBAC. I had also read lots on women who have had numerous c-sections. My research and my OB confirmed that each woman is different. Some women can deliver MANY c-section babies with great healing and no problems. Some women can not. Some women have bad scarring or thin areas......etc.etc.etc.
So right now, we simply take it baby by baby. I trust my OB, I like her a lot. I have talked openly with her about our beliefs, and that I would like her HONEST opinion after each birth - how do things look in there: are there thin areas, is the scarring bad, are there lots of adhesions, what is her medical opinion???
Then after each birth, my dh and I will have to make a tough decision as to how to procede next. We are not willing to head into another pregnancy if my OB says I and the next baby will be in great danger. I know some QF families would "trust in God" no matter what, but my dh and I believe we are supposed to use the medical information He has supplied to us.
I guess it's an individual call for each family - that's just how we look at it. It's not an easy situation, and I always encourage those who can avoid c/s to do so - absolutely!! Yet I also wouldn't go to extreme measures simply to have a perfect, vaginal birth. That just may not be what God has for you. Maybe it is. Just don't let "the perfect birth" become this idol that you *must* obtain. At least, that's how I feel about it.
Lastly, I get nervous too. Especially that morning, right as I'm going into the hospital and all the "medical stuff" is starting. The worst is when I get the catheter, then they wheel me to the surgery room where I have to get the spinal ALONE (they don't allow my dh in there with me - which is awful IMO). I usually cry a bit, with tears sneaking out (which is not unusual for me or for pregnant women in emotional situations). Once my dh is in there with me, I calm down and relax and try to actually "enjoy" the birth of my child, as much as possible. I talk to my OB, the nurses, asking them how things are going, what things look like in there, remind them I do *NOT* want a tubal, etc. ;)
I will be praying for you - for peace in your decision-making process. I know you and your dh only want God's best and if you seek His will, He will show you what to do. It may be a trying time, emotional, jittery, etc....but He can give you peace through it all (beyond ALL understanding).
I really am so happy for you, yet I also understand the many emotionas running through you as well. C-sections are not "ideal", yet praise the Lord for them!! Please keep me informed of how things are going for you in that area. Perhaps you will be able to find someone willing to let you try a VBAC, especially if you are already having to pay so much even *with* your insurance - money might not be such a factor in that case.
Luv you, sister