Friday, March 6, 2009

Basic Update & Thoughts on "older children"

*Master Bedroom furniture is moved - cradle is completely set up and looking so cute!

*All kids' clothing bins have been gone through, reorganized and relabeled, including new larger size bins.  PTL I am done with that (for another few weeks/months at least)!

*All winter gear (excluding current coats) is put away in new large bin or smaller bins for hats/mittens/scarves/etc.

*DVD's/movies have all been gone through and reorganized (thanks hubby!)

*storage closet has been organized (thanks hubby, again!)

*Girls' toys have been gone through (again).  Girls' closet straightened up.

*Laundry is caught up (seriously, I didn't think that was possible)

*new pillows have been distributed


*minor sewing on bedroom shades (Selah broke these  quite a few weeks ago and I've been procrastinating......still am.....)

*grocery list - shopping on Saturday

*van cleaned out, carseats cleaned and reinstalled  (hopefully today during lil' kids' quiet time - it's such a beautiful day, I hope Isaac can run off some energy in the backyard)

*scrub down red couches, re-fluff with blankets and old pillows (another job I'm apparently procrastinating on)

*boy haircuts....I would love to get this done before baby arrives, but I'm doubtful...

*kids' portfolios updated (just basically insert some demonstrative papers/projects to show what they've been working on - nothing too complicated)

*one last time to mop the kitchen/bathroom floor - another great chore to procrastinate on, eh?

*PACK THAT DARN HOSPITAL BAG......come on, Lori.....

And the dishes are out of control.......well.....maybe not really, but, ugh, I dislike dishes.  Even with a dishwasher.  I know, silly, but so be it~

Selah has strep..........well, we think so.  We have her on antibiotics and I'm gonna call the doc today to confirm.  
I am also on antibiotics, for a sinus infection.  It should cover me for any possible strep as well.  Now I just need to go make myself a yogurt smoothie and take my probiotics (to avoid any yeast overload issues).

Lastly, it's so much fun to see how excited the kiddos are about this new lil' baby!  Isaac tells me daily, many times a day, how many days are left.  As he runs through the count-down, his voice gets higher and higher 'til he gets down to one day - then he squeaks out, "and then we go to the hospital and the baby comes out and we see him.   or her.  Yeah!".

Tali just loves to go to the bassinet and look at the clothes I've picked out (a small pile of pink and a small pile of blue).  She'll tell me how these clothes are for the new baby - "these ones" are for Willow, and "these ones" are for Micah.

Selah kisses my belly at every opportunity.  She loves to finger the crocheted blankies and talk about how the new baby will "use these to keep all warm and snuggly".  She is the one who "talks" to my belly and tells the baby that she is his big sister and will help Momma take care of him (or her).

Here are those thoughts on "older children" and new blessings.  Just my rambling thoughts....

It is very sad for me to hear parents talk about how jealous an older sibling is acting or "will act".  How do you *know* how your child will react to a new baby?   From "the experts"?  If you expect your child to act jealous, most likely he or she WILL.  

Instead of worrying about how horrible it's going to be for your older child(ren), do everything you can to get everyone *excited* about this new life coming into the family!!  It's THEIR new lil' brother or sister.  THEY get to be the BIG brother or BIG sister.  Talk up how cute babies are, how much they need our love and attention.  Talk about what WE (include your children here) will need to do to take care of the new baby (diapers, feedings, kisses, singing lullabies, swaddling, cuddling and loving).  

If you make it a "family affair", they are much more likely to be excited and happy about this new baby.  It won't be just someone else who is going to take away all of Momma's & Daddy's time and attention and love.  

I'm wondering how much of this issues stems from how much time we are actually (as a society) spending with our children.  Dean read somewhere that today's parents spend about 10 min. a day in DIRECT INTERACTION with their children (not watching t.v. or playing video games or just sitting in the same room).  10 minutes.  Wow!

I know that as children get older, sometimes just playing video games or just "being there" to listen is a great thing.  But for younger children, this is simply not interacting and building relationships and tying heartstrings.

Since I am home all the time with my babies, I can say to them, "No, not right now, Momma is busy.  Momma has to take care of Elijah - he needs my help right now.  I'll help you in a few moments".  And they can accept this.  They know their turn is coming.  They realize Momma is only ONE person and I love ALL my babies and I will help them/be with them as I am able.

Yet if a parent is only spending 10 min. a day with their child, to tell that child, "Sorry honey, Momma has to feed the baby/take care of the baby.  I just can't read that book right now.", the older child will obviously feel jealous.  Hey, he only gets 10 min. a's incredibly precious and he's not about to give it up without a fight!!

Now, again, I'm not saying if you have to work outside the home you are an awful parent.  No.  I'm saying if you are part of this statistic that is only spending 10 min. (or whatever little amount of time) with your child, this *may* affect how an older child reacts to a new little one.  Instead of that new life being a blessing and being excited about him ~ that child may react negatively (and justifiably so).  

And in no way am I saying I'm perfect about this.  There are times when I push my kids away too often, tell them no too often, etc.  Yet I honestly feel this gets balanced out over time.  Yes, I need my "ME" time, ALONE, occasionally.  Yet because I am with them all the time, it all balances out and they do not feel robbed of attention and love.

Just another reason to choose home.  If possible, it is such an amazing opportunity~

p.s.  I'm really hoping not to upset anyone with these thoughts.  I know there are situations where Mommas have to work - I get that.  I also know there are situations where Mommas DECIDE to work (not NEED), and feel this is a perfectly acceptable decision.  All I can comment on is the decision WE have made for our family and the direct results of this decision.  If by sharing how wonderful it is (yes, it's hard too) and the rewards we are all reaping ~ if I am able to encourage another Momma to give it a try ~ then I am happy!!

Since our society today tells women day in and day out how worthless it is to stay home (and how to have true appreciation and satisfaction in life, you must work outside the home), I simply want to be ONE voice stating THAT'S NOT TRUE!!  I am only one voice, but here - at my blog - I can say what I feel and hopefully someone will hear it and wonder why it goes against *everything* they have heard and learned in their life.  Then they can make a decision based on more than just whatever "society" has been drilling into their heads for 20-some years........

It's not easy, but it's a blessing~  I don't say that enough, I complain too much.  Sorry about that.  It *is* an amazing gift and blessing to stay home with my babies.  I need to tell them that more often as well....
God Bless~


My Life With Boys said...

Wow! You've been one busy woman! My boys are ecstatic about the new baby! They give my belly kisses when they can too. Jonathan (my oldest) likes to talk to him...I love it! I agree with your thoughts completely. I don't think my boys have ever had a jealousy issue when we've added a new addition to the family. By the way- 3 days?!!! Crazy...just crazy! ;)

Kenni B said...

SO can't wait to hold my new niece or nephew!!!!!!

I still don't come see you all enough. In my opinion anyway.

Glad all the littles will be doped up on antibiotics by the time we get up there. I'm not a fan of the strep. Well....of ANY sickness actually.

Tess said...

I leave tommorrow for your house (as you know) and I have already started my five day pack of antibiotics.

Don't be late, it creeps me out to the max to think of being there outside alone...did I tell you that would scare me? THAT WOULD SCARE ME!!!

See Ya Later, Gator,
Love and Kisses

Tereza said...

So cool you could accomplish so much in preparation for that new baby of yours!!

I totally agree with the new baby/older kids thoughts:)

Anonymous said...

Good job!!!!

we're a two income family and loving it. Our children are in private school, and they love that too. I want the best education for my children. Homeschooling, IMO would not do that. My job, gives us GREAT health care (working for an insurance company helps lol) it pays for the little extras in life. Like vacations, college funds, savings!

I'm not offended at all Lori, it's your blog, and your thoughts. how boring would it be if we all agreed?

My children never had the jealousy effect after their siblings were born. 1. prayer is wonderful and 2. a small gift from mom to child, and from new baby to sibling.


Dean B. said...

Keep in mind that the goal of any education is to instill values and beliefs (aka, indoctrination) into the participant. Saying you want your child to have the "best education possible" and that you cannot do it means you are running the risk of having them becoming indoctrinated with values that you may not agree with (even if it is a private, Christian school).

If we take Deut. 6 seriously, homeschooling is really the ONLY way to go. Otherwise we cannot fulfill the commitment of "when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up," since they are not around you to do so.