I would kill him...

As I was standing in line at Joann's, I couldn't help but hear the conversation of the two ladies ahead of me, as they spoke with the cashier - another lady about their own age (perhaps 65-70?).

The cashier was explaining what I *think* were some kind of "reward" badges or some-such. I believe it was for her years of working at Joann's. She said she has worked there for over 20 years. Then she said:

"Well, I can't stay home with my husband, I would kill him!" (said in all seriousness)

I was stunned. Really?! Kill him? Is it that bad? How sad...

But that wasn't the end. The customers nodded in agreement, saying how you couldn't possibly get anything done with "them" at home, so you were better off at work anyway.

*sigh*



Of course, I would never say anything out loud - what *would* you say? I respect them as my elders. I realize that I know *nothing* of their situations. Yet it was still a sad conversation. A conversation I pray I never have in my later years. I hope I never desire to be working long hours, just to "get away" from Dean. If I must work, in a needed situation, I pray it is not due to my need to KILL my husband if we spend time together.

*big sigh*

Feeling the Fabric

I had to meet with our Pastor of Music today, regarding the Children's Christmas Musical for this year. The meeting was super-quick and I was outta there in less than 20 min. But...I had taken a shower! I had gotten dressed...nicely. What was a girl to do?

I headed on over to Joann Fabrics, of course!



There I walked around, feeling the fabrics as I went. I can't just *look* at all the different beautiful fabrics - I have to touch 'em! So there I am, feeling my way up one row and down the other. Bending over to get a good feel of the bottom row, oblivious to everyone else around me....ahhh....I finally settled on a reduced price cotton/spandex blend (good for the ever-changing preggo body) and I'm gonna try my hand at recreating a skirt I've about worn out by wearing it so much! We'll see how that goes...

It was fairly cheap, thank goodness. I also saw some not-so-cheap fabrics I would love to get my hands on, not to mention a nice looking dress pattern or two that would be great even as maternity dresses. *sigh* I WILL find the time this winter! I WILL!!



So, do you "feel" the fabric?? Do you get lost in the yarns at your local craft shop? Is it just this time of year, or do you feel "crafty & creative" all year long? Let us know~

Messy Thinking

I've been thinking a lot lately....I haven't really been keeping busy, so my mind has extra time to contemplate. What I keep going over and over again is: ME. I know, I know, as a good Christian, I am supposed to sacrifice myself, my time, etc. But I can see my family, home, marriage, even ME suffering due to this lack of ME.



No, I don't believe I have to run out and have ALONE time every day, having massages and sipping lattes with my girlfriends (although that doesn't sound *bad*) - I'm just saying, keep my identity. Doing things I like to do. Maintaining ME. Yes, my family, my children are this wonderful part of me, but there is *more* than babies and dishes and laundry (again, not that I dislike those things, I don't - I *LOVE* them).



I told my dh awhile back that I needed to figure this whole thing out, and soon, or he was going to forget that I was one heck of a sexy woman! Yes, I said it partly in jest, but part of it is true too. He married me before the babies, the house, the homeschooling, etc.etc.etc.... It was ME ~ and I don't want to give her up.



There's a balance that I'm searching for. Being a good wife, mother, Christian woman - giving of myself each and every day, living for others and being a blessing. Yet also filling myself up with Christ, exercising the talents the Lord has given me, reading and exercising the mind He gave me. I love to crochet, yet I keep pushing it back - who has time for that with 4, soon to be 5, small children? Well, I do! Or I will.





Sooooo.....here I am, thinking about all this stuff, wondering where the balance is. I doubt I'm the only Momma searching for that balance. So I'm going to give it a go. I'm going to remember who *I* am, what *I* enjoy, and try to fit it in amongst the diapers, meals, laundry, dishes, schooling.....and sometimes, yes sometimes, it's going to come BEFORE dusting, before all the clutter is picked up, before everyone has perfect hair and clipped nails. I can't be the perfect wife & momma, but I'm going to be ME in all this!



Then...after all this messy thinking, I run across a friend's blog: Bethgem. She has this list, these 12 Rules to Live By. I really like it! If I can start the list from a Christian perspective, knowing my relationship with the Lord, reading my Bible and striving to know Him better each day is FIRST - then I can look at this list and see the wisdom in it. I truly believe the Lord desires JOY for our lives, not drudergy. This list seems like a good place to start.





12 Rules to Live By
- Robert Louis Stevenson

Make up your mind to be happy. Learn to find pleasure in simple things.

Make the best of circumstances. No one has everything and everyone has something of sorrow.

Don’t take yourself too seriously.

Don’t let criticism worry you. You can’t please everybody.

Don’t let your neighbors set your standards; be yourself.

Do things you enjoy doing but stay out of debt.

Don’t borrow trouble. Imaginary things are harder to bear than actual ones.

Since hate poisons the soul, do not cherish enmities and grudges. Avoid people who make you unhappy.

Have many interests. If you can’t travel, read about places.

Don’t hold post-mortems or spend time brooding over sorrows and mistakes.

Do what you can for those less fortunate than yourself.

Keep busy at something. A very busy person never has time to be unhappy.

What do you think about this? About the 12 Rules, about my situation, about my ramblings. Are you searching for the balance, have you found a good balance, or do you think I'm a selfish woman? I'm willing to listen, honest. If you've been here, are here or are afraid of ending up here - let's talk~

7th Birthday Pics

Before we start this photo blog, let me just express my frustration with Blogger. When I upload pics, they always end up at the TOP of the blog, in the order they were uploaded, and THEY WILL NOT MOVE. I can not click and drag them to another location within the blog. I can not upload a pic in any other place other than the very top of my blog. It's annoying and I want it to stop.

So here are some *very* random pics from Isaac's party this afternoon. In NO particular order. Argh.



Selah enjoying a cupcake she herself got to decorate - I'm really glad I let the kids decorate their own cupcakes, it worked out well~


I used very basic, primary colors. Easy on the budget, easy to match up with other stuff, looks good~


He got some great gifts - all of them were fun! Some water guns, a RC motorcyle and car, a Wii game, a bubble-maker, some racing gloves ('cause he's *that* good on his big-boy bike *wink*), a Cars sweatshirt, hmmm....

And you know what else? Somewhere he picked up really good manners. I can't really take credit for this, at least it doesn't seem like I taught it to him. Yet he was reading the cards first, saying thank you to the correct person at the appropriate time - he even accidently ripped the paper on one gift, before he had read the card, and bless his soul - he tried *so* hard NOT to look at the gift until AFTER he had read the card. *big sigh* He's getting so big~



We used two bounce houses borrowed from our church - again, a perk of having a Children's Pastor as your father. The little kids loved this too~


Daddy fixed Isaac up with a new tree swing in the morning before the party - that went over well too~


I made up a bunch (and I mean a BUNCH) of cupcakes before the party. I just arranged them as a "7" on the cookie sheet - unfrosted - and then passed out the undecorated cakes to each kid. They had fun~


All in all it was a great party! I didn't get good pics of the kids playing Wii games, nor of them having a water gun fight amidst the sprinkler (it *was* hot out today), nor trying out the RC car and bubble maker. I also missed the men working the grill - we all enjoyed some hotdogs/brats and tons of chips, dip, salad, apples & cheese (and lots of pop!). I also somehow didn't get good pics of Grammy or Uncle Kenni & Miss Crystal - sorry guys :(

It was a great party - but I felt Isaac's friends had to leave too quickly. This being my first child party (that I ran), I wasn't sure how long to tell the parents it would last. Some of the families chose to stay, while some parents dropped off their children. In the future, I would tell the parents to give the kids a good 3-4 hours to play, rather than the 2-2 1/2 that they stayed today. They just didn't get enough time to PLAY and just be kids. I didn't really "plan" all that much, but just the basic playing outside time, Wii time, eating time, cupcake time, opening presents time......well, all that time added up quicker than I thought it would.

Ok, my feet hurt, I need to give myself a quick mini-pedicure before church tomorrow (I've been running around barefoot today and I'm paying for it now).
Later my friends~

Happy Birthday

Friday was Isaac's 7th birthday - I can hardly believe it!!

We had normal stuff to do, some shopping, errands and then Bible Study. We did have a nice Spiderman cake to celebrate after the Bible Study, which was nice.

So today, Saturday, we are having his official birthday party - never have you seen such an excited kid!! Dean is off getting a few more things for the party, while I am at home, doing dishes and making cupcakes. I just would have bought them (I like things simple when there's going to be many people over) but I told Isaac he and his friends could frost and decorate them themselves. Sounds messy yet fun!

It's going to be pretty laid back, some a few friends, a few families and some of our relatives. My parents couldn't make it (which totally bummed us out), but Dean's mom and bro are on their way, so Isaac is happy!

I'll get some pics posted later this weekend ~ it's so HOT here today (of course. It *is* Aug.), so I'm sure everyone will be sweaty and sticky! Oh well....

Have a great day today~

A-okay!

Yup, everything is great with this little one!

Had an ultrasound - I saw the baby IMMEDIATELY with a nice, strong heartbeat (like 176 - the nurse said it's usually really fast this early). My due date is officially March 18th - and of course, I'll have a scheduled c-section no more than a week early. All my blood tests and such came back great! I have been upset about not being able to lose weight before conceiving this child - I was fairly depressed about the whole thing when I went in. I had convinced myself I was a mess, health-wise.

Instead, my wonderful OB told me over and over again how healthy I was. Sugars were GREAT, BP was right where it should be - and all my blood tests came back normal, even my thyroid (Hurray!). So while I'm obviously encouraged to eat healthy, lots of fresh fruits & veggies and whole grains, she said not to stress about it. Whoo-hoo!

And I seem to have a lot on my plate - my OB was very kind, not condescending, yet told me I was one busy woman. She talked one time about how in a few weeks things might ease up a bit when a couple of my little ones went to school....um, yes, they will start school, and *I* am their teacher! I have been feeling a bit overwhelmed and getting pretty down on myself about not being able to keep up perfectly. My conversation with her really helped me, in how I am viewing myself, my expectations, etc. I already *knew* the stuff she talked about - but it was different coming from her. You know, you don't listen to yourself, your husband, your mother - but you listen to the professional?! Duh, Lori....

Anyways, I'm feeling better. I'm still sleeping in too late, I'll have to change that a bit when school starts - but as my own mother says, I am *not* a morning person. One of the advantages of homeschooling is flexibility. I can give my kids their t.v/computer time in the morning, while I am waking up and getting ready. We can then do breakfast and regular morning chores. Then we can attack school together when Momma is awake and sane. As long as it works FOR US, then I should not beat myself up for not rising at 5am. (sorry honey)

The internet is great, I'm so thankful for it, but there are times I know I expect too much of myself and want to perfect - due in part to seeing other women who seem to have it all together. If I can face the reality that I will soon have 5 little ones to take care of - and there is really nothing I would rather do, even when it is really hard - perhaps I can ease up on my own expectations, at least while they are all so young. As my children grow and mature, maybe I'll have more time to be crafty, sew, crochet, deep-clean my house (okay, just clean my house), etc.etc.etc.....but for right now, I've got to simply do my best, aiming to please the Lord and my dh. That's it.

So for now, start school with the little ones (we're starting Sept. 8th), grow a baby inside and give myself a break!

Sounds great~

Mohawk?

Oh, my goodness, he's so cute!!

I just gave my son a mohawk ~ we saw a kid at camp with one and Isaac decided he would try it (I admit, I initiated it - I asked him if he wanted one). My sweet Isaac is very, um, by-the-rule-book kind of kid ~ so this was awesome for him. I'm hoping he has a great time at church tomorrow when he first sees all his friends with his new do!

I wasn't actually planning on giving him a mohawk, it was kinda on the spur of the moment - so I didn't have my camera. He was *so* itchy from all the hair, he begged for a shower. But I promise, I'll be back later with some pics.

I *love* that little man~

p.s. Blogger isn't letting me move my pictures around, so sorry they are all bunched up together at the top. I tried....

just not quite myself

This week I just haven't been quite myself.

Getting back from a week a camp....well...you would have to know this camp. This camp is wonderful. It started WAY BACK in the day - more and more people attend this camp each year. You are literally all stacked up together, lot against lot, camper against tent against RV against cabin. A lot of people. Great people. But people.

I must be more of a home-body than I thought.

I just didn't want to leave my home this week. I didn't want to deal with other people. I just wanted to hole up for a while.

Then, this past Tuesday night, I had a bit of blood in the toilet when I went to the bathroom late at night.


Let me tell you, the fear of a possible miscarriage makes me want to hole myself up even more!


Now, to ease some fears, it was a very small amount. It was only that one time. I have not had any more blood or spotting since that time. No cramps, no pain. But hey, ANY blood when you are still in the 1st trimester is a scary thing.

I did a little searching around online (like *that* helps) ~ and it seems ANY blood in the first trimester is considered a "threatened abortion" aka: possible miscarriage. great. Like *that* helps to ease any concerns and fears I may have.


I did call my OB (I haven't even had an appointment yet - hey, I'm only 9 weeks along) and talked with a nurse. She reprimanded me for not coming in yet, then told me not to be too concerned. I made an appointment for Monday and I'm really hoping they'll help me out, ease some of my fears, by trying to find a heartbeat. It's still fairly early though, for the doppler, so I'm hoping they'll wheel the ultrasound machine in "just to make sure". If I'm about to have a miscarriage, well, I do know the Lord is in control. But I sure would like to kind of prepare myself. I would like to know what's going on if/when I begin bleeding again.

And lastly, about the homebody thing.....as I stepped outside to get the mail today (literally the first time outside in a while), I breathed in deeply. Ahhhh.... God's creation *is* good. A nice breeze, some wispy clouds, not too hot.....it was good. Just getting the mail, and it was good.

But we are out of juice, cheese, non-stick spray, milk, cereal, etc.etc.etc.....we are running seriously low on butter, oats....well, you get the idea. I need to get it together and go shopping, at least. And we have Bible study tomorrow night.

That is *seriously* JUST what I need~

it hurts to even type it...

but I must.

I have to pare down (is that how you spell that?? Pare? Pair? whatever) my blogs on my Google Reader. I just spend too much time daily trying to keep up with some really good blogs. It's not that I don't *really* enjoy their blogs, I do! Some of them are so much like my own life, I find comfort in their mishaps, encouragement in their success, and even a good ol' belly laugh now and again.

But I'm running out of time.

As I try to plan ahead for this fall (it's almost here - just a few more weeks), I realize the need for some tighter schedules, less t.v., less computer - for the kids and for myself. How can I hold them accountable if I'm making excuses so I can "just finish reading these last few blogs"? No matter how good they are.

There are a few blogs I added and well, WHY did I add them?? They make me upset and frustrated. I'm amazed people really belief such nonsense. When I first started going to this one site in particular, I thought it was smart, articulate, sassy. Now I realize it is just causing me frustration and saddness. These ladies are smart, but obviously confused right now. I already know I don't agree with these ladies, I already know how they feel about me - why am I still reading? I think it's like a train-wreck: you don't *want* to watch, but somehow you find yourself staring....

The hardest will be those wonderful moms out there with great blogs. Mommas who share many of the same values, beliefs and convictions that we hold ~ wonderful ladies ~ but I just don't have time to keep up with how many wonderful, godly ladies there are out there. I wish I did.

So as much as it pains me, I will be whittling down my reader ~ to the bare minimum. Right now, in this time, I have some other priorities. Later, I may find myself with some more time to catch up and enjoy stories from other ladies. But not now.

I'll be here though. Blogging about homeschooling, scheduling, loving our children, loving our husbands, dealing with new schedules, chores, whining, diaper-disasters, the NEED for coffee......you know, the life of a Momma! As I find the time, I will type out some of our days, if only for our own future generation to read and reminisce and laugh out loud at.

Thank you LORD, for giving me this opportunity!! What a gift~

I'm gonna do it!

For this baby, along with our traditional crocheted blankie for the wee one, I am planning on trying my hand at quilting. Quilting has long intimidated me. All that cutting, planning, arranging, sewing, quilting, etc.etc.etc......I just stayed away.

Yet I happened to stumble across "Rag Quilt" from Kathy, From the Mission Field of the Home.

This I can do!

(I think)

She assures her readers that it really *is* simple, just some basic cutting and simple sewing. Since it's for a baby, it can be light-weight and doesn't need batting or any extra layers. Again, I *think* I can do this.

I have about 30 weeks to figure it out.

(I know that *seems* like a long time, but really, in "Momma-Time" it's not that long)

Ok, time to get back to the camping laundry that seems to be multiplying before my very eyes. Later my friends~

Dirty, Dirtier, Dirtiest!

My kids win!!

We are in the middle of our denominations Family Camp Week. This is our first year staying the whole week (yet we're still kinda cheating ~ I'm typing this from home and it's only day #3, if that tells you anything).

Yet we are having a great time ~ amongst all the dirt! The kids are getting a chance to hang out with their friends from church, plus they are getting to meet all kinds of new friends from other churches in the Michigan district.

Just to be honest ~ it *is* hard. Having four small children, in an OLD camper, is no picnic. I either have to chase down the 1yo so he doesn't run into the road or deal with his unhappiness at being confined. The 3yo has peed her pants, umm, just once actually - WAY TO GO TALI! Quiet times don't really happen - until the kids are so tired they fall down - this can lead to less than stellar behavior. In front of all those "church-people". Yup, those are the Children's Pastor's kids....

In all seriousness, no one expects our kids to act perfect, just because my dh is a pastor. (Praise the Lord!!). Sometimes I put those expectations on myself and I need to stop it. The people at our church have been wonderful~

So tomorrow morning, we head off to church, then it's back to camp. Where my kids seem to think it's a dirt competition - and they are bound and determined to win, win, WIN!!

I'll be back as soon as I recover....
Later~